Meet the Findleys

 

Steve and Lorna Findley of Huron, OH spend their time “raising the next generation of superheros.” They have been married for nineteen years and are parents to Anna, Lucas, Sam, Michael, Erin, and Emma Leigh as well as their children in heaven: Marcus, Jessica, Paul, Meghan, Jonah, Andrew, Hope, Mae, Elisa, Ezekiel, Xavier, Grace, and Joseph. They belong to St. Peter’s in Huron. Here’s their story.

Please share the short story of how you met and began dating.
We met each other in our dorm hallway at The University of Toledo in 1992, which was the first week of our Freshman year. Our friendship grew and developed into a relationship we could both depend on for loyalty and support. In 1996, Lorna asked Steve to accompany her to a “for class credit” Modern Dance Performance. As they were getting ready, they both realized the jitters they were feeling meant that they were growing into more than friends and this was actually their first date.

What are some favorite family activities?
Movie night, Game (board games, card games, video games, “Just Dance” off) night, evening prayers, visiting the Grandparents, attending as many of the Mass Impact events we possibly can, walks on the beach and pier, ball tag, and pick up soccer games.

Share a time you all really laughed as a family.
We laugh at each other a lot. Once, Sam made this ridiculous video of himself asking if we would like to see his nose. He then proceeds to screech and howl holding his nose in piglet fashion. It makes us laugh over and over no matter how many times we view it. We also have had some amazing laughs sharing the 50 LIT Guide icebreaker questions. “One time I laughed the hardest” is a really good one.

Share a “cute kid” story (or two).
When Anna and Lucas were little (4 or so), they were playing on the playground and there was a little boy (about 6) who was being unkind to Anna. Lucas went between the two of them and said “Hey Man, leave my sister alone!” He did!

Our 4-year-old Emma Leigh sings praises and dances for God. When she was 2, Lorna would take her for drives to nap. The song “Thy Will” by Hillary Scott was just released. Every time Emma heard it, she would sing along and raise her hands and sway to the music as we drove around the country side, lulling her to dreamland. Also at Mass, Emma will dance in the Aisles when a song is played.

Describe a dream family vacation.
We would love to take a family retreat. A week long pilgrimage somewhere amazingly beautiful, holy, and inspiring where we could be away from the daily grind of chores and work and we could be filled with Christ’s renewing love and peace and reconnect with each other and just enjoy each other.

What do you love most about being married
Our marriage is truly a gift from God. It was by His grace that we were brought together. Together, through the good and the bad times we have grown closer to Christ. We are helping each other know Him and trust Him. We are learning, although it feels slow sometimes, to love selflessly as Christ loves us. We are helping each other become what God created us to be.

What is your greatest challenge as a married couple and how are you working at it?
Communication. We have a lot of baggage and often get ensnared into sinfulness. Those dark moments when we are choosing to serve the enemy are hard. But Christ is always shining his light like a beacon for us to steer back toward him. When we look to Christ, humble ourselves, talk, share our hurts, and apologize for the hurts we cause; we grow closer to Christ and each other. We learn to identify the obstacles that stop us from completely receiving Christ and fulfilling who we were called to be, alone and together.

What do you love most about your family?
Our family is the most amazing gift from God! The closeness and love that we share is the best.

What is your greatest challenge as parents and how are you working at it?
Being what our children need us to be. Fixing the brokenness in ourselves so we can give our children what they need. Not being able to fix all the hurts and learning to let go… and let God take it from here.

Share a time you saw Jesus fulfill a real need in your family?
In 2006, we moved away for a year, during which, Lorna’s mother converted to the Church. This past March, when she passed away, the presence of the Blessed Mother and our Lord were abundant.

When Steve’s dad passed away in 2015 the time we got to spend with him and prayers we had with him were a healing gift. We know that they made a difference to him too.

Opening our lives to the Mass Impact movement in our parish has been the ultimate blessing for our family. It brought more prayer into our home, a deeper understanding of each other and of the mass through the LIT guide. Spark Dinners and Ignite are an amazing way that our parish community has grown powerfully toward Christ and each other. The opportunity to grow closer to other families who are like minded across the diocese is made possible with events like Praying with Fire Conference, Marriage Retreats, the Family Emmaus, and so many other events. To love each other is the greatest honor.

How does your family pray?
Dinner prayers, Evening prayers, The Holy Mass, Chaplet of Divine Mercy, Adoration, Intercessory prayers, prayers for the souls in purgatory, Consecration to the Blessed Mother. When a conflict or argument arise we try to solve the problem by bringing Christ into the situation. Talking out the issue trying to hear each side and offer apologies and then saying a prayer over each other.

How do you measure success as a family, and what help do you need getting there?
Do we have Trust in God? Peace in God? Joy in God? We need humility to make a good confession and start over. We need forgiveness, patience, and love. Is God pleased with the choices we make? We can’t always say yes, but with God, there is always another chance to do this moment well. We need the love, prayers, and support of other friends and families and the Grace of God.

What are you moved to proclaim to other families?
Bring Christ to the battle. He loves you and is your restless warrior. Satan will keep you fighting when Christ has already won the battle. All the struggles you endure, he carries them for you. Let him give you the love and strength you need to love others. When you feel like you need to be loved more… love more. When you feel like you need more… give more. Do it for Christ, in thanksgiving for all you have been blessed with. Share your brokenness humbly to glorify God. By doing so you will bring hope and grace to others.

How have Mass Impact and LIT Groups impacted your marriage and family life? Why do you think others should get involved?
Our marriage would likely be over if it were not for the Mass Impact programs. The pain and struggle in our marriage, from the sinfulness of our pasts and from the broken disorder caused by pornography, and a seemingly insurmountable grief, was a battle that we were loosing fast. Lorna’s hurt, Steve’s resentment, and a shared insecurity was the Molotov cocktail of marriage destroyers. We had taken fire and we were going down. Mayday, mayday, mayday! Divorce was mentioned…but God was always with us.

As we mentioned before, it was by God’s grace that we were put together. And by His grace we were already being saved before we even asked. We had been praying the LIT guide with our Children and the Holy Spirit was directing us to become a part of the Core Mission Group that was starting at St. Pete’s. We felt like we were in no condition to be a part of that group. We were a mess. Our marriage was broken, and failing. But that was precisely why we were meant to be in the group. God was calling us out of the wreckage, out of the sinful carcass of what we thought we were.

He called us onto the water’s of the mighty Sea of His Love. It is vast, mysterious, and uncharted; and when we fall back into our sinful ways we begin to sink and struggle, but if we focus our eyes back on Christ, our Savior, our Deliverer; we can rise out of our brokenness and cut the weights that drag us down and fearlessly walk out on that Sea to serve and to love others having been filled with his love.

Invite Christ into your marriage, open that door. Take that first step into the mystery. You will be met with his Love and Grace that will eternally forevermore spring forth for you, and you will never be the same. 


We would love to feature your family story! 

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